Jump back for JMAC…

. . . ‘Cause he is in the house.  Bitch.

What up my Unicorn Butter friends.  First let me start by talking about the most important thing in the world.  Me.

After nearly being killed by a pilot who obviously had never flown a plane before Skippy is on the ground with a beer in his hand in the mountains of New York State.  If I just had a Unicorn Butter Woman on my lap things would be complete. But fuck no.

The girl sitting next to me on the airplane was actually very cute.  She also almost puked because the last 30 minutes of the flight and the landing were that bad.  I have never been scared I was gonna die on an airplane until today.

Okay, enough about me.  ‘Cause writing this post is distracting me from downloading Ashley Tisdale porn.  On that topic Ashley Tisdale has proven to be very popular as yesterday’s Pornicorn.  So far however the mega-fucking-adorable Aimee Lynn Chadwick still has more hits here on Unicorn Butter Women than anyone else.  I know I’d hit Aimee Lynn over Ashley any day.

Oh wait, I was gonna stop talking about me.

Today I welcome a guest author to the field of Unicorns and Bacon.

My man JMAC.

This is his official bio.  Then I’ll tell you the truth about him.

JMAC is a veteran of a lot of non-paying gigs over the years, blogging being just one of them. Amongst others include acting in local theatre troupes, swinging a hammer for local theatre troupes, non-commercial college/community radio, cast and crew of ill-conceived horror films, and baring all for aspiring art students.

Paying gigs have mostly been in the service industry with tours of duty in various restaurants, record stores, and consumer electronics superstores. These days, he pursues a near decade-long dream of software development with hopes of moving into web design and videogame development.

Hobbies include comics, film, theatre, music, videogames, special effects, and is a self-confessed dyed-in-the-wool Anglophile.

What’s the “blogging being  just one of them” shit?  I think I’ve been insulted.

That bio above is the biggest load of unicorn shit I’ve ever read.  JMAC put the I, the M and both Ps in Pimp. I have it on authority from several bitches who are still walking bow-legged that he is hung like a stud unicorn (unistud?).  JMAC may or may not be the reason your mom knows how to suck a cock dry.

Let’s just say that JMAC has tamed a unicorn of two in his day. The sun ain’t set yet.

Ever so shortly (after I kiss the ground one more time) JMAC’s first guest post is gonna appear as he lays the smackdown on this weeks Burnt Bacon.

Hide your dishes, your daughters and anything else that might get broke.

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