What am I? Your bitch?

My millions of fans noticed that yesterday there was no Unicorn Butter Woman.  That’s ’cause I’ve been busy as hell.  I did in fact spend all of yesterday in front of the computer doing an update to one of my other websites.  If I was your bitch I would have stopped working on that project and posted a U.B.W.  I’m not.  I didn’t.  What are you gonna do?  Fire me?

That’s what I thought.

There is gonna be no Unicorn Butter for your toast this week.  In fact the next 10 days are gonna be intense for Skippy.  Things may or may not happen.  You are gonna have to suck it up boys and girls.

And since I’m overwhelmed at this moment (unlike normal when I’m just overwhelmed) I’m going to introduce a new feature at Unicorn Butter Women.  Because I’m stupid.

The weekly Pornicorn.

Wednesday is Hump Day and I figure what better day to share a Pornicorn with the world.

So what the hell is a Pornicorn?

According to the urban dictionary –

Mythical creature that appears during the brief euphoria of orgasm during sexual intercourse.

Pornicorn has a slightly different meaning here at Unicorn Butter Women.

The Pornicorn

The Pornicorn

I don’t make Unicorn Butter and Burnt Bacon choices based on what women look like exclusively.  Despite what you may think.  If you think that is.  The problem with this is that if I don’t really know anything about a particular woman then I’m not in much of a position to rate her as Unicorn Butter or Burnt Bacon. There are lots of chycks out there whom I’d love to tap but don’t know jack shit about how much cocaine they snort, how many sex tapes they have made, how shitty their singing is, and so forth.  Likewise I’m sure there is plenty of Unicorn Butter out there which I haven’t tasted.

I have this thing called a life.  I don’t have time to “research” assorted chycks on the internet for classification purposes.  I’m busy doing photography, writing, screwing your sister and downloading porn.

Thus there are legions of hot chycks I know nothing about and yet they are still hot and fuckable.  What to do? Create the Pornicorn.  Pornicorn posts will be light on the text.  Very light on the text.  It’s all about eye candy.

And what’s wrong with a little eye candy?  Just be damn sure you brush after eating.

 

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