Yup, I could do some more whining about blah blah blah but I don’t have time for that shit. I’m too damn busy this week. Whatever you do in life – stay away from theatre. It will screw up your life. I’ve gone back to my alcoholic ways and my sleep schedule has been shattered. The only good part of this is that I get to do my most favourite thing in the world (other than sex with your sister) which is yell at actors.
Damn I love being The Stage Manager (aka God).
Now that I’ve got a bit of time between yelling at the actors to learn their fucking lines (we only lost 2 pages of dialogue last night, but they made up for it by doing a different 2 pages of dialogue twice) and sending the actors emails telling them to learn their fucking lines I’m gonna take care of UBW. It’s late, but it’s done.
This weeks Unicorn Butter Woman is
Tessa Violet aka Meekakitty
I stumbled across Meekakitty on YouTube one day while searching for video’s related to modeling and modeling agencies and modeling agency scams. Now I know what you are thinking. “Skippy, you were looking for porn.” No. Really. I was looking for legit information. Honestly.
Okay. Fine. And porn.
Tessa, who has modeled professionally, put together a series of videos about modeling agency scams and other things that prospective models should know about.
I instantly became a Meekakitty fan. I mean hell, how could anyone not?
Let’s go down the Perfect Chyck Check List.
- Red hair.
- Cute and adorable.
- To much energy. (Regular readers of UBW know what that is good for.)
I’d say that about sums up the perfect chyck.
Well except for the one thing that is missing from that list.
Riding my cock.
That would be the perfect girl.
Right then, let’s get to the meat of the issue. (That’s what she said.)
A digression. In the play I’m stage managing right now “that’s what she said” is actually a line one of the characters has. Needless to say the TWSS jokes are running wild at rehearsal. Thus TWSS is heavy on my tiny little mind right now. Along with red heads and yelling at actors to learn their fucking lines.
So what the heck is a Meekakitty?
Urban Dictionary definitions:
Meekakitty is a youtube celebrity who’s real name is Tessa. She is the queen of jump cuts, she has a huge collection of fake glasses, and she always loses the game. Her favourite game on iminlikewithyou.com is Blockles. She is currently modeling in Thailand.
Have you heard? Meekakitty just got parterned on YouTube.
A Youtube Celebrity. The greatest nerdy hotchick with freckles and Adhd style videos on youtube. Geeks practically masturbate to her.. yes including me. Her actual name is Tessa.
Doode, Meekakitty totally gave me a boner when she went crazy over Zelda
Now I have never masturbated while watching Meekakitty (at lest not yet . . . this week) but I will say that Tessa is so adorable that if she added voice overs by Miette to her videos that would be better than porn. Yup Tessa is so adorable I would rather look at her with clothes on (her clothes on, not mine) than watch porn.
Why I love Tessa? She’s funny. She’s waaaaaaay too into Star Trek (intervention time). She’s talented. She models. She is a red head. She makes nice sound effects. She’s just e’fin adorable and I like it. So there!
Yup, I play with dolls. Not just the blow up kind either.
One day I hope to see my Dream Team in action. And by “action” I mean naked. Kristina Horner (italktosnakes) and Tessa Violet (meekakitty) need to marry me. I could possibly settle down and be a two woman man for them.
The beginning of the Tessa/Kristina alliance.
Plus, I think they might be conspiring to make their move on me. Read this message and look for the hidden meaning. Ladies, you don’t have to operate behind my back. Just come right out and be honest about how much you love me.
Meekakitty music video to the ALL CAPS (Kristina Horner) song Don’t Unplug Me.
Don’t believe it? Well, watch this vlog and then deny it.
Ya hear that? “Unicorn savings fund.” That’s what she said. You can’t deny now can you? Yea. I think Tessa is trying to save up enough money to entice me to marry her. Tessa, you don’t need to do that. I’m yours. Right now. You don’t need a savings fund.
Tessa and Kristina want me. I can tell. And hey, ya can’t blame them. Both are intelligent young ladies with impeccable taste in men. As amazing as they are how could they not want me?
Super-charged Tessa? Meekakitty Powers activate!
Now get your ass over to Meekakitty’s YouTube page and get your meekafix.