Unicorn News Issue 3
Unicorn Butter Women resumes publishing.
The first relevant news is that I’m firing up the blog again. For those of you who don’t have a blog – that is to say, for those of you who are normal and have a real life – you don’t understand how much of a pain in the ass this is. It looks easy, but it’s not. In addition to actually writing a post I also have to do blog maintenance such as updating software, killing spam, fixing an occasional glitch. Plus I have to do the research that goes into each post.
Yup, I said research.
You may think that spending 2 hours on Google searching for “blonde redhead lesbian yamaha dilldo” is fun. It isn’t.
Well, not much.
Okay, fuck it. I’m lying. I love it.
However, it doesn’t pay the bills. And phone sex is expensive. At least that’s what I’ve heard. From other people of course.
Point of all this (yes I’m changing the subject) is that I didn’t have time for the blog for . . . months. ‘Cause I was busy and also because my publishing schedule was a bit too much. I simply couldn’t put out (I said “put out” heehee) three posts a week and still have time to hit on your girl friend and her sister.
Let’s see if I can get my shit together this time. Publishing will be on Tuesday – alternating between Unicorn Butter Women and Burnt Bacon – and on Thursday – when Pornicorn will be published.
LiLo is gonna be naked.
I may have to buy this issue of Playboy. Providing I’m aware of when her issue is released. I am pretty sure I am the last person alive to know when anything is happening in the “outside world”.
Originally I read that LiLo was gonna be all naked. Full Frontal Nudity. With a shit-ton of Photoshoping I’m sure since modern photography can’t exist without Photoshop.
Now I’m reading shit like this.
“The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful, and will be accompanied by an interview that will let readers see another side of Lindsay.”
Translation: Don’t expect to see any nipple and LiLo is gonna be interviewed about how misunderstood she is. Boring. It’s sad that she has destroyed that fantastic body with drugs and booze. It’s like pissing on the Alamo.
New Songs from UBW Kristina Horner
Keep in mind that “new” for me means within the last 3 years. I just watched The Incredible Hulk this week. That movie came out how long ago? And whomever told Liv Taylor she can act should be taken out and killed.
So yea, two “new” videos from Kristina Horner. Very, very tasty. And the videos are good as well.
What Would Buffy Do?
Unicorn Brides sponsored by Unicorn Butter
Avril Lavigne – Literal Music Video
Avril Lavigne is known for dressing skanky, looking hot and writing lyrics that are beneith the intellect of a 5 year old. If you find Avril’s lyrics challenging here is a video that will help you understand what is really going on in that pretty little head of hers.
Amiee Lynn Chadwick – still awesome.
Amiee covers the most famous song by the King Of The Hippies. I hate hippies.
So there it is bitches and bitchettes. Unicorn Butter Women in back. Fuck yes.